The Unloved
by Remo Con
Summary: Heidi had hoped to never see Peter Petrelli again. Implied Petrellicest and Spoilers for The Fifth Stage


_**SPOILERS FOR THE FIFTH STAGE (which if you have not watched, I understand. I had a hard time bringing myself to watch it too)**_

**Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Heroes as I strongly disagree with certain decisions made of late**

"Excuse me, Mrs. Petrelli?" Heidi paused ever so slightly, as she always did at that name lately, the question of changing back to her maiden name an almost constant thought, but she finished buttoning Monty's jacket before she stood up and replied.

"There's a man at the door. He says his name's Peter, and that it's urgent. Shall I send him away?" the ever faithful housekeeper inquired, already on her way out to do just that. Heidi supposed that no matter how well trained she was at keeping her emotions locked away; even she had her Achilles heel in the form of one Peter Petrelli.

"No, show him into the study. I'll be with him shortly." Heidi looked at her children, pulling on their backpacks, happily chatting with each other. She wondered if it was just as well they apparently hadn't heard Peter was here. She didn't know what he wanted. She didn't know what she was going to say to him. But she did know that her children had to be at school at eight, and the driver was waiting outside to take them just as soon as she could get them ready.

"Very well, ma'am."

"Okay, boys, do you have everything?" Heidi asked, looking them over.

"Uh-huh," they replied.

"Then come give mom a hug," she said, kneeling down, arms held wide. Grinning, the two rushed at her, and for a brief moment, as she did every day, she held them close, for a moment blissfully at peace. And, as always, too quickly the moment ended, and she patted Simon's head, told him to look after his brother, and watched as they ran out the door- and just this once didn't remind them not to run in the house.

Then she stood up – and oh how sometimes it struck her how quickly she had taken the ability to do that for granted- and headed towards the study. The sooner she spoke with him, the sooner he would leave. And Heidi had no wish for Peter to linger in her home.

***

He was just standing there, looking out the window. Heidi thought that if she was ever going to remember Peter in a favorable light, it would be like that, just looking up at the sky, dreaming of all the possibilities.

"So what exactly does the great Nathan Petrelli want to tell me, but was once again to afraid to say himself?" Heidi said, surprising even herself by the spite in her tone. When he turned and looked at her, she almost wanted to swallow her tongue. Her words had clearly cut Peter deeper than anything even she had dreamt of longingly, and seeing those dead eyes stare at her, Heidi shivered.

"What? Does he need us to come back and play happy family for some silly political scheme of his?" she continued, taking at stab in the dark. The only time she had ever seen Peter look close to this was during the wedding (but even she had to admit compared to this, how he had looked at her then was delightfully warm).

"Well? What?" she demanded.

"Heidi," Peter said, his face moving almost mechanically, words coming out but no feeling backing them up. "Heidi, maybe you should sit down first."

"No, thank you," she said, "I've done quite enough sitting to last me a life time. So, what is it, Peter?"

"Nathan…Nathan's-" and it was painful, really, as if she was watching the words be ripped out of him one by one "-dead."

"What?" But she had heard him. And what's more, she believed him. She had stood here wondering what could possibly make Peter look like that, but she'd always known the answer. And what else could she say to him?

"The funeral's next week. Ma didn't want any else to know, really, but he is a senator, so even she can't keep this secret, and you guys were Nathan's family. He loved you. I thought you and the boys deserved a chance to say goodbye," Peter continued, his jaw locking tight again when he finished.

Then they stood there, Heidi wondering what she should say and Peter thinking god knows what.

"No," she said finally. This time it was Peter's turn to be surprised.

"What?"

"No," she said again, "He didn't love us."

"Heidi-" Peter began to protest.

"No, we were what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to marry a nice girl from a good family, and have a couple of nice children. He had to do that to be a politician like your family always wanted him to be. We were an obligation. He didn't love us." And as she paused to gather her thoughts, she could see Peter starting to speak, could see the rebuttal forming on the tip of his tongue, defending his brother to the last. So she stop thinking and said the one thing she'd held in all these years.

"He didn't love us. He loved you."

"Heidi…"

"Don't say anything. I'm not accusing you of having sex with him, Peter. But I admit I have always been more jealous of you than any of the blonde bimbos he picked up on the side. Because you were always his whole world, even if he had a hard time always showing that. I left him because he couldn't let you go, you know. When everyone thought you were dead, that little part of him that agreed got mean and tried to drink him to death rather than face a world without you in it. And he never talked about his past, not about when he was a kid, not about when he was in the military, nothing. But he always talked about you, and your childhood, and your achievements. And he hated himself for every time he let you down.

"He didn't love us, Peter, because he'd already spent all his love on trying to give you the world.

"So thank you for telling me, and I'll break the news to Simon and Monty as best I can this afternoon, but we won't be attending the funeral."

Peter looked stunned, and much as she did still resent him for holding Nathan's heart- because even if he'd never loved her, she had certainly loved him- she thought this was a better look.

"Just," she found herself adding, "make sure you don't waste the rest of your life wallowing in grief. I know it seems right now that you've lost the best part of yourself, but Nathan believed so very deeply in you, Peter, to be better than the rest of your family. So go out and make the world a better place, okay?

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work I need to do. Just let yourself out. And…good luck, Peter."

And if she heard crying as she left the room, Heidi would not hold that against him. She was just sorry she couldn't grieve with him.

"Goodbye, Nathan, you son of a bitch," she whispered.

**Author's Notes: Damn, I haven't written a fic in ages, so let's face it, this is not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. Hell, it's not even the fic I meant to write when I started thinking about this. But I've always felt bad for Nathan's other kids, because let's face it, even he doesn't seem to remember them. And while I sincerely hope they bring Nathan back, I've been burned before and won't be entirely unsurprised if this turns into the next Sirius Black, where fans will faithfully hope for Nathan's return 'til the bitter end. Either way, I hope you enjoyed yourself a little, and please, as always, review. **


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